I Was Saying, "Boooooo-onds"

Gather ’round, friends. Sometimes the cosmic forces align in ways you never thought possible. Sometimes you get two utterly perfect situations, that joined together, create the perfect storm of irony. (Not like when it rains on your wedding day. That’s just bad f*%#ing luck.)

Via good friend of the site and pride of Ripley, TN, CeyHeyJay, we recieve the following gem from the LA Times:

Barry Bonds’ breaking or tying of Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record could fall on the same day that the Dodgers host a steroid awareness clinic.

I thank the Good Lord for this gift which has been bestowed upon us. This is like Michael Vick staging a pitbull fight only to find the Westminster Dog Show is next door. The possibilities here are endless.

This couldn’t be more perfect if I’d planned it myself.

Speaking of which, did the Dodgers plan this themselves?

The clinic was originally scheduled for June 29, when the Dodgers played the San Diego Padres. But the Taylor Hooton Foundation, which is running the clinic with the Dodgers, had to postpone the event. The late Taylor Hooton, a high school player whose 2003 suicide was tied to steroid use, is the cousin of former Dodgers pitcher Burt Hooton.

“This has nothing to do with who we’re playing,” Dodgers spokesman Josh Rawitch said. “It’s the date that was the best fit for us and the Hooton Foundation.” Dodgers outfielder Juan Pierre, hitting coach Bill Mueller and former outfielder Lou Johnson will participate in the clinic.

Sure, Josh. Total coincidence. I’m completely on board with that. Whatever you need to say to make this happen. Personally, I would have gone with “it’s a steroids awareness clinic. What better way to make kids aware of steroids than to watch someone who’s 94% steroids?”

On a somewhat related topic, Juan Pierre is the best they could get for an anti-steroids gathering? What’s he going to say? “Hey kids – don’t use steroids. I’ve never used steroids, and thanks to that I’ve been able bulk up all the way to 180 pounds and hit 12 home runs in over 4540 at bats! Oh – and don’t watch the game tonight, where the guy who did use steroids is going to break one of sports’ all time hallowed records. No. Don’t look there.”

Hmm. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.