Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night

Well… make that Sunday morning.

Here on the Right Coast, it’s 2:34am.  A quick recap of Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Night: after seeing Superbad (unbelievably raunchy, but very funny), it wasdarkbuster-02.jpg off to see my favorite punk-rock band, followed by quite a bit of imbibing, including at least one super-powered Jagerbomb purchased for me by the singer of the very same band (at right).

Why is this Dodger-related? Because periodically though the night, I’d checked the score of the game on my phone, and when it was 4-2 Rockies in the 8th, I basically gave up. On the way home, I saw it was tied in the 10th. So now, with it tied at 4 in the top of the 13th, with me still wearing my paper “of-age” wristlet, I present the first “Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness Slightly Unsober Starting in the 13th Inning Liveblog”.

2:35am: Roberto Hernandez just came in the game. This liveblog might not actually last that long.

2:40am: Well, somehow Hernandez’ corpse had just enough mojo left to get through that. Martin just popped out to start the bottom of the 13th. Speaking of corpses, here comes Luis Gonzalez.

2:42am: I’ve been trying forever to find good pictures to do this with, but I have had no luck, so I’ll just say it: how much does Luis Gonzalez look like Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs? I bring this up because I think Mike Rowe might be a better hitter right now, as Gonzalez flies to center.

2:47am: And we go to 14. I tell you, I’m sure glad I had to work at MLB.com last night – when the Dodger game was over in about 2.5 hours and I was out of there at 1:45am – than tonight, when my poor co-workers are going to be there until at least 4am, no matter how soon this ends. That said, Roberto Hernandez is out for a 2nd inning of work.. so no good can come of this.

2:53am: Double, sac bunt, walk = men at first and third. And it’s only Matt Holliday coming up. He’s not good or anything.

2:55am: And there it is, an RBI single. Thanks for showing up, Roberto. Seriously. Thanks.

3:04am: Another walk, bases loaded for Hawpe. Why is Hernandez still on this team? I’d honestly rather see James Loney throwing some heat right now on the mound.

3:06am: 2-run single. 7-4. I hate you, Roberto Hernandez. HATE. I want Jon Meloan up here yesterday.

3:14am: James Loney strikes out looking. In the tunnel, Roberto Hernandez is lighting a puppy on fire.

3:15am: Furcal grounds to SS.  Hernandez is funnelling money to al-Qaeda.

3:17am: Pierre grounds out to end the game. Let’s all thank Roberto Hernandez here, kids. And by “thank” i mean “throw into a canyon”.

Good night.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness msti-face.jpg

2 comments
ThtsaPaddlin
ThtsaPaddlin

First. Like seriously, the first to ever read this.

Lobo
Lobo

FOUND YOU

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  1. […] Hernandez, and no, that’s not the same Dodger reliever who infuriated me during a brief live blog six (!) years ago — (six? really?) — it’s the former Cleveland starter once […]