Random Stupid Quotes And Stupid People: Joe Morgan

Kids, this is your brain:

This is your brain on drugs:

Two days late, I know, but here are some gems from that Emmy Award winning broadcaster, Joe Morgan, during Sunday’s Dodgers vs. Mets game. I will just let the quotes speak for themselves. Take it away, Joe!
On Willie Randolph letting his players learn how to play the game:

“One thing that I really admire in Willie Randolph is he lets these guys learn how to play the game.”

Then after talking about Lastings Miledge, then at the plate, he finishes off the sentence with:

“So, I think he’s [Randolph] showed me is that he’s out there to teach these guys how to play as well.”

And then within 1 minute after that, the pendulum swings yet again:

“So Willie gives these guys a chance to learn to play and that’s why I like what he does as a manager.”

Then within another minute, after David Wells throws a curve ball to David Wright…

“Say I think that curve ball is more effective against a hitter, guys that play every day, because they’re looking fastball and trying to make a pitch.”

Huh? So you’d have more success throwing a curve ball to Albert Pujols than, say, the fearsome hitting pitchers like Derek Lowe at the plate because Pujols is an every day hitter who works on making a pitch, while the pitchers are… wait a minute, WHAT THE HELL?!

“Rick Peterson couldn’t teach me how to pitch.”

Well, there goes your chance of getting pitchers to throw you curve balls to smack around!
After Lastings Milledge gets on, he slides into first. Now Morgan actually makes a good point how it’s best not to slide head first at first base, until (and I paraphrase)…

“I don’t recall ever watching Carl Lewis dive to the finish line.”

Shedding insight into the finer details of the game:

“Milledge may not take off, but with two strikes, he may take off.”

The worst part? Four of the seven quotes were in the third inning alone.
I think I’ll end this article now… but at this hour maybe not. However, the moral of the story?


- Vin vinscully-face.jpg