Real Men Of Genius Presents: Chan Ho Park

MSTI Presents: Real Men Of Genius.

Real men of geeee-ni-us!

Today we salute you, Mr. I Should Be Sucking And Continuing In A Steep Decline But I Have Made A Miraculous Comeback And Am Now Pitching Better Than I Have In Seven Years Man.

When conventional wisdom said that you were an old, washed up has-been who had completely raped the Texas Rangers 6 years ago of $65 million and couldn’t pitch anymore, YOU came back to defy the odds!

Sure, nobody thought that you had a chance in hell to make the roster when you signed a minor league contract with the Dodgers this spring.  In fact, some of us, including myself, laughed at the prospect, thinking that you would be released before the season started.

However, we were wrong, Chan Ho.  And we’re sorry.

We’re so, so sorry!

Last night, YOU came back to bitch slap the Angels for 6 shutout innings, only surrendering 4 hits, while striking out 7 and walking none.  And what do you know?  You didn’t even need to use your drop kick against them!

But wait… that is not the only good pitching performance you’ve had this season.  Not only was that the second time you’ve pitched well against the Angels this year, but you’re also coming off a start against Cleveland where you went 5 innings, giving up 1 ER, and striking out 9.  In fact, though it’s a small sample size, in your three starts this year, you have a 1.20 ERA and, throughout this season in general, your K/9 rate is higher this year (6.88 ) than it has been since 2002, while your WHIP (1.32) is the best it’s been since 2001.  You’ve even done well in the bullpen.  In the bullpen this year, you have put up a 3.03 ERA and, based on all Dodger pitchers who have thrown at least 50 innings, you have the second highest VORP at 17.9!

Take that Murray Chass!

The truth is, Channy, after being one of my favorite punch lines over the past 6 years, you’re making us feel good again.  Nostalgic… like the old Chan Ho.  You’re healthy, have regained your velocity, and stifling hitters.  Does that mean that if you keep this up the rest of the year we should re-sign you to a new deal?

Oh, hell no!

But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be a fixture in the rotation.  In fact, you have been one of our best pitchers this year and with the numbers you have put up, you could arguably be one of our very top starters.  That’s right, folks.  I am advocating Chan Ho Park to be our starter. He is pitching the best he has in years and, in true Giovanni Cararra fashion, he is doing it with the Dodgers.

Just stay the hell away from Fernando Tatis!

The Ho is back and he’s pimping teams out!  For that, MSTI salutes you!

- Vin vinscully-face.jpg

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  1. [...] was I ever mistaken. Chan Ho Park continuing to find the fountain of youth, except somehow he’s not even 2000 Chan Ho Park, he’s 1965 Sandy Koufax? Getting [...]