You Saying Jesus Christ Can’t Hit a Curveball, Cerrano?

christ-rbibaseball.jpgLet’s do a completely insane roundup to kick off a holiday weekend…

* Mouthpiece Sports has a great collection of the absurd updates people have made to one of the greatest old-school sports games of all time, RBI Baseball for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Sure, the “Friedrich Nietzsche pitching to Jesus Christ” version at right is pretty entertaining, if not completely confounding, but I especially like the “dead musicians version”, which they explain to include:

In case you’re wondering, that’s Kurt Cobain taking a conservative lead off first. The pitching rotation consists of Elvis, Dimebag Darrell, Sid Vicious and Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

* We’re venturing into “completely obscure degrees of separation” territory here, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Remember the early 90′s television show, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose? No, of course you don’t. In the third season, a new character was added, played by Harold Pruett. The character, described in Wikipedia as an “athletic, good-looking bricklayer” was named Bradley “Brad” Penny. But wait, we’re not done there. Harold Pruett later starred in 1994′s Embrace of the Vampire, which is mostly remembered only for being the movie in which the female lead (Pruett’s character’s girlfriend) finally took her clothes off. That female actress? Alyssa Milano. Which means that she went from being naked on-screen with a guy who’d previously played a character named Brad Penny to dating the actual Brad Penny. There’s something just entirely too creepy in all of that.

* Finally, we’ve all been enjoying the new Andruw Jones-free lives we’ve been given, aren’t we? Well, just to add slightly more salt in that expensive wound, Diamond Leung has an account of Jones’ interview with an Atlanta radio station in which he blames you. Yes, you, specifically.

Asked about fan reaction to his struggles, Jones said, “I think they went a little overboard with it.”

Have you lost your mind? You got paid $36 million to hit .158 with three homers and strike out in nearly one third of your at bats. You admitted in that very same interview that you weren’t in good shape. Hell, none of those three dingers even came in front of the home fans. How can you possibly think the fans went overboard? I’d say that the lack of violent assaults against you constitutes remarkable restraint on behalf of the fans.