May Cody Ross Get A Perpetual Case Of Hemorrhoids

So, I’m sitting here on this nice Sunday morning, relaxing, typing out an article on the awesomeness of Chad Billingsley, and as I’m busy typing this, I’m watching the Dodger game and, as I’m watching, I note that I’ve just seen something historical.  

Juan Pierre drew a walk. 

shocked-2.jpgAnd it was intentional. 

monkey_shocked2.jpgSo I had to put the article on hold and get typing on this.  Because in case you missed it, there was some other notable thing that happened, today: some guy called Sandy Kershaw.jpgKershaw pitched a pretty nifty game, throwing a no-hitter through 7 innings, until it was broken up by a leadoff double from Cody Ross in the 8th inning, who has now punched his ticket to hell for all of eternity after committing such an atrocious act.  Nonetheless, the final tally on Kershaw was 7+ IP, 1 ER (off a sacrifice fly after he was out of the game), 1 H, 4 BB, 9 K. 

The short of it was that Kershaw was simply brilliant and continued to give us another taste of what could be with his unlimited potential.  Since his brilliant 13 K performance against the Giants at the beginning of the year, Kershaw hasn’t been particularly good (5.21 ERA going into today’s game, with an 84 ERA+), going from a mixture of Kaz Ishii to, as we saw today, Sandy Koufax.  However, as has been said many times, he’s barely 21 and to be able to get even that production from someone his age is highly encouraging.  Hopefully this is the type of start he can build on as he continues to mature and improve, which he has been doing.  Well done, young man. 

In other news… 

Welcome To Juanville 
The Pierre Man  .jpg
You’re going to witness something even rarer right now than the almost no-hitter and the intentional walk to Pierre.  Yes, that’s right, we here at MSTI are going to give some love to the Pierre Man. The Juanster.  The Mayor Of Juanville. 

Let’s face it, once Manny got suspended, we didn’t just scream “oh shit!” because his production was going to be gone, but because it also meant that Juan Pierre was our new left fielder.  But if the first 10 games are of any indication, he’s been flat out brilliant.  Over the past 14 days (not counting today), he’s put up a line of .415/.478/.515 with 6 SB’s to boot and also went 3-5 today, with 3 RBI’s.  What’s particularly nice is that, while Pierre has normally been a singles hitter, we’ve also been seeing an increase in extra base hits.  Counting today’s 3-5 performance, which included 2 doubles, Pierre’s (who has played 31 games this year) total amount of doubles this year is 8.  Now why is that even worth bringing up?  Well, because last year in the 119 games he played, he had 10.  And 7 of those doubles he’s had this year have come in the past two weeks.  You see, when we get the old, vintage Pierre, the one who gets on base, gets a bit more extra base hits, then you know what?  He’s not bad and does make a valuable contribution to the team.  It’s when he stops doing that, then he gets his justifiable criticism.  But you know what?  I can’t complain about him, right now.  He’s been simply brilliant and one of the key parts of this offense since Manny got suspended.  I’m shocked as hell, yes, but good for him and I truly hope he keeps it up. 

I now expect Juan Pierre to soon get suspended for 50 games for violating MLB’s drug policy. 

Either way, nice production.  But, of course, we can’t let this article be 100% positive, now can we?  This brings us to… 

Guillermo Makes Me Want Some Mota 
Mota Stone4.jpg
Because that’s the only way I can get through watching him when he comes in.  Is there any reason why this guy still has a job?  Even in a 12-1 blowout, he damn near gets Florida to cut the lead in half by giving up 4 ER, which came from a Cody Ross Grand Slam in the 9th with 2 outs.  The guy simply serves no purpose with this team, other than as a motivational tool for the starting pitchers to continue pitching well, lest he come in for them and screw them of a win.  The last time Mota came in was the 3 ER performance against the Giants, where he blew the lead twice, and eventually lost the game in the 13th inning, not to mention he has also not had an easy, scoreless 1-2-3 inning since April 26th.  I mean, come on, where do I begin?  The wicked 9.00 ERA?  That sick 2.17 WHIP going into today?!  I mean, if we have to keep him, can we at least inject him with steroids again?  Sure, there is a moral issue with steroids, but I argue that it would be, if anything, moral to give him steroids to save Dodger fans from the utter torture and nightmares that he creates every time he takes the mound.  Actually, that’s what he should be doing!  Somewhere in Guantanamo Bay, they need to set up a pitchers mound where he gets to pitch and where they subject all the terrorists to watching this.  Holy shit, the information will just come POURING out!  But put him anywhere, I don’t care… just not with us.  He’s just so detrimental… he’s like… I don’t know… the swine flu. 

So the Dodgers end the road trip by going 4-2; in other words, they took 2 out of 3 from both the Phillies and Marlins.  Not bad and nice to see some improved play from them on the road, after being a .500 team (8-8) away from Dodger Stadium prior to this trip.  Now it’s back to Dodger Stadium beginning tomorrow.  And we don’t get to mess with the Johan!  Sweet! 

- Vin vinscully-face.jpg

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