Just Manny Being Retired


Very surprising news coming out of Tampa; after just five games and seventeen at-bats in a Tampa uniform, Manny Ramirez has decided to call it a career. He’d missed the last few games dealing with what was being called a “personal issue”; multiple sources are claiming that he was notified of a failed drug test and decided to retire rather than deal with the process.

Much, much, more on this to come, no doubt, including more self-important puff pieces from journalists condemning him than you can shake a stick at, if “shaking a stick” at something is a thing people still do. For my part, if he did get busted again, then he’ll get no defense from me, though I do think we should wait until the details emerge. Either way, he could be hopped up on a mix of barbiturates, steroids, and a stew made of newborn babies and it still wouldn’t change how I felt about watching him hit in Dodger blue.

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