Capuano & Dodgers Downed by Diamondback Dingers

Over the course of the day, I’ve written four posts (two from two different airports), spent three hours on a plane, saw the site shatter previous traffic records (thanks!) and watched A.J. Burnett nearly no-hit the Cubs in my first trip to Wrigley Field. So I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m really less than motivated to spend a lot of time discussing how meekly the Dodgers went down against Arizona tonight.

That being the case, let’s make this quick: bad Chris Capuano, the one who allows dingers, showed up to allow dingers, one to Paul Goldschmidt and one to Miguel Montero. The bad Dodger offense, the one that doesn’t provide offense, showed up – in a manner of speaking – to manage just five hits against Wade Miley & David Hernandez, though one was a home run by Mark Ellis. And hey, when is it okay to point out that Andre Ethier has just two homers in more than two months? Is it now? Not yet? Okay, just let me know when. Yes, I know he was on the disabled list, but it wasn’t for that long.

Tomorrow, don’t forget, is a 12:10pm PT matinee. Stephen Fife gets his third start, and Shane Victorino might potentially make his Dodger debut. While I still think that the player moved to make room for him is either Bobby Abreu, Juan Uribe, or Tony Gwynn, it’s worth noting that Shawn Tolleson has thrown 43 pitches over the last two days, and has the all-important ability to be optioned remaining. Geez, of course it’ll be him.

243 comments
Gilbert_Vengeance
Gilbert_Vengeance

Glad we traded some great pieces so we can end up in 3rd place.

Deuce (is loose)
Deuce (is loose)

So we released our best LH bat off the bench so Uribe could hang around and destroy some more post-game spreads.  I know Bobby wasn't great, but he's better than Gwynn or Loney with the bat.  Guggenheim needs to eat some $$.

MSTI OG
MSTI OG

Is it unfair to say that I missed SF? Anyways, gotta run, will check the gamescore and such. Do me well, my Gnome!!!

MSTI OG
MSTI OG

Hey I hear some cool new OF is gonna start today. Thats cool. Hey. Win this game. 4G LTE is blowing my mind right now btw. 

Dang88
Dang88

Wonder if Big Papi can play first haha I feel like we have to get a really good bat for LF because not much out there for 1b or 2b and Ellis is here for next year. What are we gonna do with Harang and Cap next year that's what I wanna know.

MSTIer: Jake
MSTIer: Jake

so uribe hit like 25 hrs the year before we got him?

Paulstralia
Paulstralia

To the dearest Juan Uribe,

It is with great sadness and regret that write, as I bear bad tidings. I am sorry to be the one to inform you, but as you can probably surmise, it appears your days with the club are numbered. Thus is the course of baseball. For all men of great stature and skill shall fall to father time. Let us momentarily recall the greatest of moments we shared with you in Dodger blue. Your skills and ---

 

Alright, fuck it. Juan, I don't know how the hell you managed to turn a well-timed career year into this joke of a contract. That's not all on you, of course. Our GM clearly can't evaluate talent; San Francisco was bidding your price up, and our ownership essentially forced our hand into assembling a team comprised almost entirely of Juan Uribes. But let's not worry about that for now. This is, after all, about you. The thing is, if you were just bad, I could probably deal with it. .260/.280/.315. Hell yeah! I mean, that's an atrocious line by all measures, but it would be excusable considering how low my expectations were for you in the first place. Actually, if you maintained your current line of production, I might be able to tolerate it if you would just... I don't know, act like you feel just a little bit bad about it. Every damn game, watching you flail away at pitch after pitch. Pitch in the dirt, swing and miss. Pitch up in the zone, swing and miss. Meatball down the middle, swing and miss. Not just a swing and miss, a big ugly hack, as if you're trying to send air particles to the moon. If you would maybe act like you give a fuck, I might feel inclined to pity you slightly. But your real crime is that smirk. That "laughing all the way to the bank" smirk. The "I just made thousands of dollars by swinging a bat three times" smirk. Yeah, the one that feeds endless conspiracy theories that you and Ned were sent here from the Giants just to troll the shit out of us. The one that makes us all die on the inside just a little bit. The one that says "sure other people deserve to be here more, but I will be instead because they're paying me a lot of money to be here." The one that finally made us see that not only are you extraordinarily awful at baseball, but you're just a little bit proud of it. 

 

It's customary for me to say something nice about a player to soften the blow after ripping them, but in this case, what is there to say? Juan, the jig is up. You may have survived this week's DFA train, but there's more coming, right on schedule. Choo Choo. I hope you enjoy that ride. I hear it has a great snack bar.

 

-Paul. 

MSTIer: Jake
MSTIer: Jake

to be honest I would have kept bobby on for pinch hitting, when u need a guy to get on base, hes your man and hes been productive off the bench

MSTIer: Jake
MSTIer: Jake

 @EephusBluehe is still quite a bit smaller than the majority of players, his arms just like big from that angle and because he hasnt gone through puberty yet

 

Dang88
Dang88

 @Cadtalfryn I really want Bourn, once a guy like Bourn gets this close to free agency it would be hard for Atlanta to sign him that boy wants to get paid he knows the 2013 is bland

JeffKlein
JeffKlein

 @JakeHorvitz I agree.  Abreu can still get on base and he's a smart hitter.  When you need a quality bat from a lefty off the bench, I feel comfortable with Abreu.  Not sure who I would have moved to make room though.

Gilbert_Vengeance
Gilbert_Vengeance

 @EephusBlue  @Cadtalfryn 2 Years im good. Bourn will be a guy that gets a 4-5 year deal... hes gonna come expensive... id rather get Hamilton or a stop gap Victorino until Yasiel is ready.

JeffKlein
JeffKlein

 @Gilbert_Venge @EephusBlue @Cadtalfryn Hamilton comes with a lot of red flags.  Amazing talent, but big injury risk.  If we are going to spend a lot of money, would rather put money into someone less risky - even if the talent is not as great.