This is a real thing that’s happening: for the first time in more than three weeks, Juan Uribe is in the starting lineup tonight. He’s playing third base. And he’s hitting second.

I’m trying to remember that lineup position doesn’t matter as much as we like to think it does. I’m trying to rationalize the idea that if you have a guy who is struggling terribly, putting him ahead of your best hitter is potentially a way to get him some pitches to hit. I’m trying to reason with myself that with Jerry Hairston on the disabled list, it’s not like having Luis Cruz & Adam Kennedy as your other third base options are really that appealing.

But mostly, I’m trying to think of what universe one must have to live in to think that your team has a better chance to win tonight with Juan Uribe making outs ahead of Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, & Hanley Ramirez than having A.J. Ellis and his .393 OBP percentage there.

It’d be fascinating, if it weren’t so infuriating, and it’s difficult to understand the thought process. Perhaps it really is just trying to get Uribe started in front of Kemp. Or that putting Uribe in front of the pitcher would be too embarrassing when it became obvious that Chad Billingsley was a better hitter. Maybe it’s that Uribe has had some moderate success against tonight’s Pittsburgh starter, Kevin Correia, collecting eight hits in 17 at-bats dating back to 2003, including 2-2 on April 10. (Correia, by the way, lost his job when the Pirates traded for Wandy Rodriguez last month and requested a trade; he is starting tonight only because Pittsburgh is briefly using a six-man rotation to give A.J. Burnett & James McDonald more rest in the midst of a stretch of 20 games in 20 days.) Or maybe, and perhaps even most likely, Don Mattingly realized he was going to have to start Uribe at some point, threw up his hands, went to partybingo.com, and played the slots, figuring that after he walked away with nice winnings from that, the rest of his day was simply gravy.

There may yet be hope, however: as Jim Peltz of the Los Angeles Times reports, it’s been a rainy day in Pittsburgh. It’s probably not enough to cancel the game, but it gives us something to dream on: even the gods don’t want to see Juan Uribe.