Wanted: A Center Fielder for the Playoffs

Sometimes, I’m not sure if anything I add to a story can be funnier than the original information itself:

There’s like a 0.00001% chance that Dee Gordon, who cannot hit and has never played center field, will play center field in the playoffs, unless Yasiel Puig somehow steamrolls Skip Schumaker and they both end up in the hospital. There’s probably even less of a chance that Scott Van Slyke actually ends up out there, something akin to what happens if you divide by zero. I imagine Don Mattingly is just doing some due diligence for that complete worst-case scenario, or perhaps more likely no one wanted to stand by Puig and risk getting injured.

Still, just imagine it. Imagine Gordon in center field. Imagine Van Slyke there. In a game that not only counts, but is the culmination of months of hard work. Imagine how many things have to go wrong for that to be the situation, where two guys who A) don’t play the position and B) aren’t even certain to make the postseason roster end up playing center field. It’s glorious, or at least it would be if it weren’t so mind-numbingly terrifying.

It’s not going to happen, because it can’t, but seeing that out there at least makes me a little less likely to be hard on people who want to call up Joc Pederson for the playoffs. (Short version: even if asking a guy to make his big-league debut in the playoffs wasn’t a terrible idea, he hasn’t started a game since August 31.)

Anyway, if you’re so desperate that you’re really looking at those guys in center, even if only in an emergency situation, you put Puig out there. Simple as that. No, he’s not an ideal option, but if my choices are “Puig misses a cutoff man” or “Van Slyke turns a single into an inside-the-park homer,” it’s not all that complicated.

It’s going to be a long next 48 hours, I think. Eeesh.

480 comments
*VND*
*VND*

"@truebluela:

Andre Ethier has joined the Dodgers on the field. Only playing catch now #badNLDSpics"

Did this strick anyone else as an unfortunate hashtag? Am i the only one that sees this?



Professor Towel
Professor Towel

maybe the plan is to have Schumaker, Gordon, Hairston and Van Slyke all man CF simultaneously. If they could avoid collisions, combined they may represent an above average CF.

Batted Bob
Batted Bob

@KMT59 I saw Brandon League, does that mean he made the roster?

Professor Towel
Professor Towel

@KMT59 *just don't use any logo/trademark/image/video/audio depicting Major League Baseball or describing the game in any way.

KMT59
KMT59

got mine already

*VND*
*VND*

oh god now Ryu's wearing those stupid fucking wrist bands. Puig probably bought him the whole collection

Dang88
Dang88

Shits called caloric deficit

efb
efb

@Happy Panda (Super Future) have you ever seen some of those infomercials about sex performance drugs... they actually say "they are backed up by science" it is just too funny. 

*VND*
*VND*

SCIENCE! STUDIES! CLINICALLY PROVEN! ALL THE WEIGHT LOSS AS ADDED BENEFIT! ITS A SECRET WESTERN DOCTORS DONT WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!

*VND*
*VND*

thats super offensive per everything religious?