Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back “Superstars,” the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!
Actually, ABC is playing with the formula a bit, pairing famous athletes with slightly less famous “celebrities” for a co-ed team competition that will eliminate one pairing a week until an ultimate champion is declared King of Unscripted TV. Wait until you see these teams:
• Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens … and model Joanna Krupa!
• Retired redneck Jeff Kent … and retired Dorito girl Ali Landry!
• “Big Shot” Robert Horry … and “actress” Estella Warren!
• Downhill skier Bode Miller … and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition star Paige Hemmis!
• Freestyle skier Kristi Leskinen … and Dancer With The Stars Maksim Chmerkovskiy!
• Sports bra spokeswoman Brandi Chastain … and Julio Iglesias, Jr.!
and my two favorites:
• Tennis dropout Jennifer Capriati … and Melrose Place “star” David Charvet!
• Female dunk machine Lisa Leslie … and Dan Cortese!
What, you really thought I was going to post a picture of Jeff Kent when presented with the opportunity to post his partner, Ali Landry?
So what are they going to do? You figure nothing could be more painful than watching Kent try to play defense…
The eight teams will compete weekly in events including swimming, biking, running and kayaking. One team will be eliminated each week, leading up to the finals.
Jeff Kent… on a kayak… with a model. The gods have smiled upon us today, friends.