Category Archives: NO

Dodger Fans Need to Root for… Seattle?

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space-needle.jpgThat’s right – on Friday night, if you care at all about the Dodgers, you need to pull for our friends from the north, those plucky Seattle Mariners, to have a big game. Bring me your Ben Broussards, your Yuniesky Betancourts, and yes, even Adrian Beltre too, and root for them to blast balls into the Puget Sound.

Why the sudden interest in the mighty Mariners? Well, it’s more than the ten-year anniversary of the only time I’ve watched baseball indoors (the Kingdome, friends, was like watching baseball in a tomb). It’s this, from the Chicago Sun-Times:

Jose Contreras, who hasn’t started since yielding seven runs and eight hits in 2 2/3 innings against the Yankees on July 31, will return to the rotation Friday, putting the squeeze on either Danks or Floyd.

”We promised Jose he’d start Friday,” Guillen said. ”I’m a man of my word, [and] he deserves it.”

Contreras, who is owed $20 million through the 2009 season, has passed through waivers and could be dealt this month. Several contenders, including the Dodgers, are expected to scout Contreras on Friday. He remains a trade target because of his 4-1 record and 3.77 ERA in 12 postseason outings.

Contreras hasn’t won a start since June 18, but the right-hander pitched five scoreless relief innings against the Mariners on Saturday.

Yikes. Leatherface has been awful this season. And it’s the special kind of awful – the kind of unholy funk that shines through in statistics both traditional and futuristic:

(I’d like to suggest that children under the age of 13 please leave the room now. The following information is rated R for Really Really bad pitching):

Jose Contreras, 2007contrerasap.jpg
W-L: 6-14
ERA: 6.24
ERA+: 73
WHIP: 1.621
VORP: -15.2
VORP rank: 629 of 635 MLB pitchers. (!)
Money owed through 2008: $20 million
Young Dodger fans crying at the thought: 1,000,000,000

Hey, I’m not against trying to get some rotation help. This isn’t like the outfield situation where there’s good young options on the bench who could help – we can’t even get enough warm bodies to get Lurch and Bombko out of the rotation. I wouldn’t even be all that upset if the Dodgers took a flyer on David Wells, because he’s only signed for the remainder of the year, and there’s nothing quite like an angry fat man bent on vengeance.

But don’t forget – not only is Contreras bad, expensive, and signed for next year; he’d require trading players to get him. Wow. Where do I sign up?

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness msti-face.jpg

I Used to Bullseye Hillenbrands in My T-16 Back Home

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darth2bvader.jpgI realize, I do, that the site has been overtly negative lately, which is not quite how I want things to be around here. It’d be nice to be able to be a lot more objective, but I’m sure most Dodger fans realize that the recent down times have made that hard.

But then, things like this happen. As Vin (uh, the real one) just mentioned on the game broadcast, Delwyn Young has been optioned down to Las Vegas.. and Shea Hillenbrand has been brought up.

I’m having a really hard time finding the right words for this – even snarky words. I explained the other day how I thought that Hillenbrand was a failure both as a ballplayer and a person, so I needn’t rehash that. I was resigned to the fact that he was going to make it up when the rosters expanded.. but why now?

I suppose the company line will be “to add depth at the corners”. With LaRoche and Abreu both out of commision, I can understand that we may be a little short-handed here. But, bad as Nomar’s been, we all know he’s going to play just about every day. If the Wrong Ramon Martinez has to play once a week, so be it. If Nomar gets hurt, then fine – it’s emergency time and you call up Hitlerbrand.

But right now? To have another too-old mediocre corner infielder to add to the collection with Nomar, Big Sexy, and Mark Sweeney? Don’t forget, Shea’s already been cut twice this year – once by the Angels despite being paid $6.5 million, and once by the Padres because he was OPS’ing .347 in the PCL. Yes. This will turn the season around.

What’s more, it’s not like there’s no detriment by adding him to the roster. Because, you know – we couldn’t have used Delwyn Young right now. With the whole offense being stagnant; with Luis Gonzalez continuing his quick spiral towards death and Matt Kemp in the midst of major struggles, why would we want to bother with the kid who’s crushed the minors (career SLG: .514) and who hit .500 in his short time up?

Why would we want to give a kid who went 4 for 4 in his only start, you know, another start? No, far better that we teach him and the other young players that success is immaterial in the face of washed-up veteran mediocrity.

And yes, I know Vin (uh, the fake one) has used the Vader picture before on this blog. But nothing else sums up the feelings here right now as accurately.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness msti-face.jpg

No. No, no, no, no, NO.

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You know, I wasn’t going to write about this. I wasn’t going to give it any credibility – not, of course, that me writing about anything makes it credible. But it keeps popping up, it keeps bothering me, and even though I’m in the middle of writing about how awesome Chad Billingsley is, I have to put my two cents in here.

Via the always entertaining mlbtraderumors.com, we have this article by Dallas Morning News “columnist” Evan Grant detailing the possible trade destinations for Rangers 1B Mark Teixeira. Okay, so far, no problem – when your team is as lousy as the Rangers are, and Cowboys camp hasn’t gotten going yet, you’ve got to write about something. I get it. And I’m used to the Dodgers popping up in all of these fanciful rumors because of how stacked LA’s farm system is. But, this is just too much.

Grant writes:

The Dodgers also remain interested in a Teixeira-centric package, the source said. The Dodgers would likely have to part with first baseman James Loney, an outfielder such as Andre Ethier and a minor league pitcher to pull of such a deal. The Rangers love Highland Park lefty Clayton Kershaw, but it’s not certain the Dodgers would include a prospect of his caliber as a third player.

Wow. Why stop there, Evan? Why not throw in Matt Kemp, too? Why not just go into the Hall of Fame and chisel the LA off Sandy Koufax’ bust and replace it with a T?

Look, I don’t want to come off like I don’t like Mark Teixeira or think he’s a bad player – though I’m already sick of trying to spell “Teixeira” correctly. Obviously, the man’s an offensive force. He only turned 27 in April, so he’s just entering his prime, yet he’s already put up some completely disgusting seasons. His average season to this point is 36 HR/117 RBI with a .903 OPS. Not to mention, he’s the two-time defending Gold Glove winner at 1B in the AL. His comparables at his age and position include Mark McGwire, Jeff Bagwell, and Willie McCovey. He’s good. He’s real good. You’d love to have a player like that on your team.

But see, there’s two really really big problems with this. Lindsay Lohan and blow-sized problems. (What. Too soon?)

#1 is, of course, the fact that Teixeira has signed a deal with the Devil. No, really. He’s part of Scott Boras’ stable. He’s literally signed a deal with Beezlebub. And if you know anything about baseball and Scott Boras’ role in it, you know that Boras will never, ever allow his players to sign with their team before hitting the open market. It just does not happen. So any team going after Teixeira has to know that they get him for the remainder of this year and then next, and he walks. Sure, you could resign him, but a player like that on the open market, and on the right side of 30, is pulling down $100 million easy. Not to mention, he’s a Maryland native and has made no secret of his dream to play in Baltimore.

#2 is, and everyone outside of LA seems to have missed this part, so I’m going to put it in big bold letters, THE DODGERS DON’T NEED A FIRST BASEMAN. Remember that kid they called up from AAA? Lone-something? Hitting .362 with a .966 OPS and the best glove this franchise has seen at 1B since the glory days of Wes Parker 35 years ago? Even better, just turned 23 and makes the minimum for the next few years? Has done absolutely nothing to indicate that he’s not going to be the real deal? Yeah. That guy’s good. I like him.

But outside of Dodgerland, the people who supposedly “know” say, “well, the Dodgers have no power! And some kid playing first! They need Teixeira!” Well, if you’ve paid any attention to the Dodgers at all over the last month, you’d have noticed that the offense has been raking (over roughly the same time since Loney and Kemp got increased playing time – but that’s just a coincidence, I’m sure) and the pitching has been in big, big trouble.

So back to Evan – let me get this straight. The Dodgers – who have been killing the ball but are rocking a pen that includes DJ Houlton, Eric Stults/Hull, Roberto Hernandez, and Rudy “uh-oh, the clock just struck midnight for Cindarella” simultaneously – should trade their killer young first baseman, a quality young starting outfielder, and one of the best pitching prospects in all of baseball, just to get a short-term upgrade at 1B and be completely screwed there for the future?

That’s like saying, “I have a 2005 Maserati and a beat-up 1987 Toyota Corolla. Obviously, my biggest concern is upgrading to a better Maserati – no matter that it’ll cost me a fortune to break the lease, and that the kids rely on the Toyota to get to school.”

That’s right – Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News hates children. Monster.